Neglect

I will be honest - I have neglected my blog in the last few months, actually since the beginning of spring. After my year in review of 2020, I only managed to publish exactly one article. Not quite what I imagined when I started this blog. And I feel a little bit bad. As if you have been wanting to call that one friend for weeks but never find the “right moment”. (A little reminder right here: call that friend, it only takes 10 minutes. There isn’t such a thing as the right moment.)

I am wondering: Why do I feel bad? It’s not like I’m neglecting a friend, a real human being, it’s just a bunch of digital pages that I created myself. My creation that I can do whatever I like with.

Maybe that feeling doesn’t stem from neglecting a website but actually from neglecting my desires - my desire to write more, learn more and follow a personal project.

I talked to Harry a lot about this recently and he reminded me that it’s easier to just write a little bit each day, than to “find the right moment” to bang out a whole article. That can be so daunting. Again, the right moment does not exist. So instead of being angry at myself I will just save that energy and do just that: write a little bit each day, about whatever I feel or do and build up a habit again. No overthinking or over editing, just flowing words. Let’s see where it takes me.

Ps: Harry is inspiring me so much! Check out his website - he’s writing a Hugo course and is writing about writing it. Pretty meta, I know. Pretty cool, too.

PPS: First time publishing something on my blog in English as well. Not sure how I feel about that yet. But I weirdly find it easier sometimes to phrase things in English than in German. We’ll see how that goes. I might just end up writing it in both English and German. Quite a good exercise probably.

__