January - Mixed feelings

I began the year with mixed feelings. I was so excited by so many things and feared so many at the same time.

I’m an optimist. And (as almost every year) I was confident that 2025 would hold great things for me. My optimism faded quickly. Turns out, freelancing holds a whole new set of challenges - mental ones. Loosing a client just before Christmal meant that from a business perspective I felt rather shaky. Although we had found a new client, for the long term that wouldn’t be enough.

I suddenly developed sleep problems. Woke up during night, had nightmares, felt stressed during the day. So much in my head. I knew I had to reframe.

Easier said than done.

But I tried. I tried hard. Focussed on solutions rather than on possible future scenarios that might never happen.

“Worrying is like worshipping the problem”.

I can’t remember where I read this, but having this phrase in the back of my mind helped me to restructure the thoughts in my head.

Towards the end of the month I was walking down the stairs in our house, phone in my hand, missed the last step. Rolled my ankle. Fell. The pain was like nothing I’ve experienced before. I was sure the foot must be broken.

Second thought: Oh no, what about skiing?! Funny how the brain works. After some time of trying to calm myself down a litte, I realised the foot was most likely not broken, which an x-ray at the local hospital confirmed. ‘Just’ a sprained ankle.

Seems funny, that one of the main priorities I wrote down for this year is my health. Straight in there with an injury. But I am making an effort of not letting it get to me. Foot up, frozen peas on.

Lots of healthy food, no wailing, trying to stay positive. I’m a firm believer that the mind can help the healing process.

Trying to practice gratitude. Because although this is a s*** situation, and it feels like my normal life has been put on hold, I’m so lucky in other respects. And I am grateful for that.

Things I’ve enjoyed this month:

• Hiking with two friends in and around Arundel, just 1.5 hours out of London. Walked through fields and woods and mud. Had a picnic and an obligatory pint at the local pub.

• Getting back into a routine of planning meals and cooking healthy but delicious food at home.

• Cooking lots from the new Anna Jones cookbook “Easy Wins”, some favourites being Warm kale salad with peanut and ginger dressing and Salsa verde flatbreads with caramelised onions.

• Getting out on a chilly but Sunday morning for a run with Harry. Followed by coffee and pastries.

• Reading “Educated” by Tara Westover - highly recommend.

• Getting our Studio Mailo online. Designed by me, coded and illustrated by Harry.